Last week we talked about the 3 BIG contradictions of trying to conceive during the coronavirus pandemic.
This week for National Infertility Awareness Week we’re looking at the 3 mindset shifts that accompany these contradictions.
If you missed it, you can find Mindset Shift #1 on the blog here.
Contradiction #2 of TTC during the Coronavirus is that if you’ve been trying to conceive for months or years, you knew well before the pandemic what it was like to be isolated from friends and family. You already felt alone.
And now that you (and everyone else) are literally alone in your self-isolation, there can actually be some relief that your inner reality matches your outer reality.
Mindset Shift #2 is about seeing the opportunity within this newfound solitude.
I’m talking about the opportunity to go deep inside yourself and reconnect with your own beauty, your own magnificence, and your own goodness.
The opportunity to strengthen the most important relationship in your life and fertility journey: the relationship with yourself, the only person who will be with you at every step.
This is an opportunity you’d never have had if you were still constantly on the go, surrounded by family, friends and coworkers (or else trying to stay away from them because it’s too painful to hear their chatter about baby’s first steps or how hard it is to fall asleep with their 37-week baby belly).
In normal life, there is so much to pull your focus. You’re constantly engaging with and responding to the outer world.
Maybe you’re also spending a fair amount of energy appreciating, admiring, envying, or comparing yourself to others.
From this place, it’s difficult to see the good in yourself that others see, especially if your focus has been on the one thing you don’t have.
Consciously looking at and experiencing yourself the way you would someone you dearly love empowers you to become your own best partner and supporter on the fertility journey.
This is a mindset shift journalling exercise called What’s Good in Me? One of my mentors, Lashelle Lowe-Chardé, introduced me to this question and I love the answers it elicits.
What’s Good in Me?
- Grab your journal, a pen, and a cozy quiet corner (cup of tea or glass of lemonade optional).
- Write down 25 answers to the question “What’s good in me?” Write quickly, without overthinking. Be as positive and complimentary as you would be about your favourite friend. Don’t be afraid to list the tiniest thing or to go overboard with praise. Consider all aspects of yourself…emotions, relationships, empathy, intelligence, creativity, devotion, commitment, physical capacity, drive.
- When you have 25 answers, stand in front of a mirror and read your list out loud to yourself. Allow the mirror to reflect your goodness. You might be deeply moved…but it’s also okay to feel silly doing this. The idea is to start getting used to consciously valuing and appreciating yourself, even if (and maybe especially if) that feels uncomfortable at first.
Next we’ll be looking at Mindset Shift #3. This one has to do with choice…the choices that have been taken from you, and the new choices that have opened up.