Sarah confesses she’s completely overwhelmed:
“I can’t sustain with what I’ve been doing this year. I can’t work like my boss anymore. Everything is a priority. I feel like a failure because I’m not meeting their expectations and that’s hard for me to do. But at this point I don’t have any other choice. I have to face my fear, and have courage. I’m afraid of admitting that I’m at my capacity.”
Coming out is hard to do
When Ellen DeGeneres came out in 1997 it was complicated. On one hand she was relieved to finally be living her truth and on the other hand she was afraid of losing her career. Her fears weren’t unfounded.
For three years she didn’t work at all. She was running out of money, scared and depressed. So what did she do? She started soul searching. “When you have these trials that life gives you it’s an opportunity to find out who you are. Not just who you are when everything is great but who are you when everything is taken away from you? That’s when you get to find out”, said Ellen in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. Ellen's greatest success came after she was willing to be absolutely truthful with herself and everyone around her.
Now, Ellen has a smash hit day time talk show that’s landed her 29 Emmys. She’s the only person in history to have hosted the Grammy’s, the Emmy's and the Oscars. Eight years before that, she couldn’t get people to return a phone call let alone give her work.
You don't have to lose everything
Losing everything is not necessary to find out who you are. But hiding from the truth, because you’re scared of the consequences is a recipe for misery.
My fertility client Sarah wanted so badly to get pregnant with her second child. So that her son would have a sibling and her family would be complete. But she was afraid to admit that work was taking way too much out of her. Between her job, her husband and her child, she was giving too much and had nothing left for herself.
What are you afraid to admit?
The Truth will set you free. When you realize you’re living up to someone else’s standards of who you need to be, it’s much easier to let go and be true to you.
Oprah says, “Anyone pretending to be something that they're not will never become all that they were meant to be.”
4 Questions to set yourself free
If you’re yearning to be a mother and you’re struggling to conceive take 10 minutes to honestly answer 4 questions from by Oprah’s Life Class:
1. How have the secrets you've been hiding impacted your life?
2. If people really knew who you were (or what you’re going through), how do you think they would feel about you?
3. What is present in your life that's absolutely intolerable?
4. Have you ever told a secret you were afraid to reveal? What were the consequences? Did you find people who accepted you?
Breathe a sigh of relief
Relief is what every woman wants on the infertility journey. Relief comes when you start getting real with yourself.
I talked to Sarah in November of last year. By January she was pregnant. She finally told her boss that she needed time off to focus on herself and her family. Admitting the truth finally set her free. And now her family is complete.
Maybe the truth can help you conceive too. What are you afraid of admitting even to yourself? Answer Oprah’s 4 questions above and find out.
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