For the past few days I've been sharing the contradictions of trying to conceive during the coronavirus.
Contradiction #3 of trying to conceive during the coronavirus is all about choice.
When you first started trying for a baby you expected it would happen quickly and easily.
Maybe it did and ended in a devastating loss (or losses).
Or maybe it didn’t and you wonder if you’ll ever see those two lines on a pregnancy test confirming your bfp.
Either way, you didn’t choose this. Just like you didn’t choose the current circumstances of COVID-19.
It can feel really frustrating, even angering, to find yourself limited even further now with the calls to #stayhome. Now that even going out has been taken away from you.
Physically, you might notice a tightness in your chest, a clenching through your jaw, or knots in your belly. Another common feeling is a lot of pressure in your head.
Instead of spaciousness and relaxation, there is a lot of tightness and contraction in your body and around your heart when you feel limited and trapped and left without choices.
It feels disempowering.
So here’s the contradiction:
While so many choices have been taken away from you — maybe your planned or scheduled fertility treatments got cancelled, maybe you've been medically medical advised not to get pregnant right now, maybe you've been told donor eggs or donor sperm (or both) are your only options — there is also an abundance of choice that has now opened up for you.
You can sleep in…
You can walk your dog…
You can linger over your morning tea and breakfast…
All without being late for work.
You can work from home (assuming you’re not an essential worker).
You can start running again or do that hardcore workout you love.
You don’t have to say no to parties and events.
And you can say yes to all those things on your mental “when I have time” to-do list.
FINALLY, you get to say yes to yourself and yes to how you feel, yes to what you want to do…without saying no to anyone.
What a relief!
So often, putting yourself first feels hard because you have trouble saying no to other people’s requests or needs and saying yes to yourself. It feels like you’re letting people down.
Now you have no choice but to put yourself first.
I wonder…can this become a new normal for you? Where you prioritize your needs and what’s right and best for you to support your wellbeing first and not last?
I believe the global pandemic is here on Earth to serve as a wake-up call. For each of us, what we’re being awoken to will be different.
I also believe there are many gifts for us to discover in these uncertain times.
My intention with this series, The 3 BIG Contradictions of Trying to Conceive During the Coronavirus, has been to shine a light on how you’ve been experiencing your journey until now and how the pandemic has been emphasizing or de-emphasizing your experience — that is, if you’ve been feeling more out-of-control OR more in-control of your fertility journey (or how you’re experiencing it).
So next we’re going to look at some gentle tools that will help you start to tip-toe into new mindsets around how you experience your fertility journey.
Because let’s face it — everything is upside down right now.
But just like standing on your head can give you a new perspective, this could mean it’s the perfect time for you to start seeing and experiencing in a new way.
Stay tuned — I’ll be in touch on Sunday.
P.S. I want to reiterate that in this series we’re focusing on the mental and emotional struggles of being on the fertility journey in these unprecedented times. We're not talking about contra-indications (medical reasons why you shouldn’t conceive), but rather the mental and emotional paradoxes many are experiencing as women on the fertility journey during coronavirus. But of course, if you’ve been advised by your medical practitioner not to get pregnant, or if doing so would put you (or your baby) at risk, please follow that advice.