Do you believe that if you really want a baby, you’ll find a way?

The other day I had a conversation with a woman in a café who told me that in her mid-20s she struggled with infertility. She said something that really stood out for me:

“Any woman who really wants to have a child will find a way to make it happen.”

Because she was speaking from experience, her words made an impression and stayed with me long after our conversation. Rather than feeling like I was being dismissed or consoled with trite reassurance, I was struck by the conviction in her words. If you really want a baby, you’ll find a way.

And then, a day later, two stories landed in my inbox, two of the most outrageous examples of women conceiving against insurmountable odds, and the message of you’ll find a way was brought home for me.

The first, from Australia, is the story of a baby boy born using sperm collected 48 hours after his father’s death in a motorcycle accident.

The second is a 65-year-old grandmother in Germany who has conceived and will become the world’s oldest mother of quadruplets.

These seem like preposterous examples, crazy and amazing at the same time. These two women were facing some of the ultimate limitations—final, end-of-the-road limitations. Yet in spite of seriously advanced maternal age, in spite of death, they made the impossible possible.

The power of belief

In working with so many women who are seeking fertility treatments like IVF, I’ve come to understand the enormous influence our beliefs have over our body’s response to fertility treatment. What we feel is or isn’t possible for us can support or undermine our financial and emotional investment in IVF. But it’s not always easy to believe that we can beat the odds.

What is the story you’re telling yourself that says it’s the end of the road for you?
Do you believe that if you really want something, you’ll find a way?
How can you broaden your belief of what’s possible?

If you’re going into a treatment cycle soon, these are questions I would really encourage you to sit with. If you struggle with believing in your body or in the possibility of your dream coming true, then there’s some work to do around restoring your faith and growing your belief. That’s a crucial part of working in partnership with your fertility, especially if you’re in treatment.

I’m going to dedicate the next few weeks to sharing with you what I’ve seen contribute to my clients’ successful IVF’s. So I hope you’ll watch your inbox carefully for more on Becoming the Vessel for IVF Success, which is also the name of the private program that I’m in the process of making public. I’ll be telling you more about that soon, so stay tuned.

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