I’ve been thinking a lot about endings because we’re nearing Samhain (pronounced sow-en). It’s a night honoured by our ancestors, long before Halloween half-way between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice (Oct.31-Nov.1) and marks the end of the harvest, a time of thanksgiving and of death and rebirth. It’s a mystical time, when the veil between the earthly world and spirit world is said to be most thin. The time of the Visionary.
What have your dreams been whispering lately?
In a waking dream last weekend, I saw myself in a cell. It was more like a crawl space where I was curled up in a fetal position. There was no space to stand. Alone and unloved I was left behind.
When I meditated on it, what I realized, is that every year around my birthday I go into this place of fear – that I will end up old and alone.
Then yesterday I read this quote from Giuliana Serena on Samhain:
“This time of year is an especially potent one to sink into grief, to mourn, to allow the experience of loss to permeate our thin skins and fill up our heart spaces.
Instead of wallowing or drowning in this impending darkness, we can seize the opportunity to call upon the power of endings, of our fears, of death itself.
For within that heart space in each of us, we have the opportunity to infuse that sense of profound loss with love. With connection. With gratitude.”
That’s when I realized why I had the vision of myself locked up in the cell.
It’s time to say goodbye.
Every year, I rehearse feeling sad on my birthday. In fact I expect it. I tell myself I’m alone. I focus on what’s missing. When the truth is I’m in a loving relationship with a man who tells me every day in every way that he loves me.
And while my rational, waking mind knows this, there is an old part of me that hasn’t fully caught up with reality.
Which is why next January 23rd I choose to be reborn. As a woman whose loved. And I’m going to say goodbye to that girl in the cell.
Consider what of the past you’re ready to release
If your dreams have been dark lately or haunted with themes of loss don’t be scared. Instead consider that your inner Visionary is nudging you towards where you need to evolve.
But first sit with your fears. Resist the urge to fast forward through them. You need their wisdom to guide you.
Then ask yourself, “What part of me am I ready to lay to rest?”
It may be a bad habit, an old wound, a relationship that’s run its course… Speak it aloud and let it go, and in doing so, you will invite your future self into being.
What has your inner visionary been telling you? What are you ready to release? Tell us your thoughts below…we’d be so happy to know!