If you're just joining the conversation, for the past couple of days I've been sharing the problem of being a masculine woman. Catch up on problem #1 and problem #2.

Problem #3 of being a masculine woman is all about control.

When we’re not getting what we want we often feel frustrated, angry and desperate for change.

Physically, you might notice a tightness in your chest, a clenching through your jaw, or knots in your belly. Another common feeling is a lot of pressure in your head.

Instead of spaciousness and relaxation, there is tightness and contraction in your body and in your heart.

Emotionally, when things are not working out it’s common to become more controlling and get defensive.

The problem with becoming more controlling is this actually creates distance and disconnection from your heart and your emotions.

Here's a good example:

A lot of women think using ultimatums or veiled threats will get their romantic partners to change their behavior.

Telling your partner “You better not be late,” even as a joke, is repelling. These words do not inspire a feeling of closeness or intimacy.

Instead, say something like “It would mean a lot to me if you could come home [or come over if you don't live together] by 6:30 tomorrow.”

And then be open for their response.

No threats or ultimatums, just a genuine expression of what you want.

This means being willing to be vulnerable, and I know for many of you vulnerability feels uncomfortable. Even unsafe.

But it doesn’t have to.

Authentic sharing of your heart is what intimacy and connection are all about. It's ultimately what creates a loving connection between two people.

If you struggle with the three problems of being a masculine woman…

  • Problem #1: Trying to do it all, and do it perfectly…leaving no room for vulnerability
  • Problem #2: Becoming less passionate, less spontaneous, and more disconnected the harder you try
  • Problem #3: Growing more controlling in your attempts to create what you want…which causes disconnection from your emotions and from your partner or potential mate

And if you already have an intutive sense of what feminine energy is, but no idea how to use it in your relationship…

I invite you to discover how to become an apprentice to your feminine energy.