We’ve been talking about the emotional trauma of infertility, and how I became so convinced of the need to address and heal infertility trauma that I went back to school to become a registered psychotherapist.
Today I want to talk about working one-on-one with a fertility coach–and about how simply making the choice to sign up with a coach has the power to shift your mindset, your beliefs, and your emotional reality…even before you get started working together.
By the time you decide you need personal support from a fertility coach, it’s likely you’ve been trying to conceive for many months, and possibly for years.
After so long of feeling disempowered and disappointed, making the decision to work with a coach feels like a bold and proactive step, which gives you a vital sense of taking control.
When you choose to hire a coach, you’re changing the game.
You’ve been trying in a particular way to conceive. It’s not working. After a few months and especially years of this, your expectation month to month becomes: it’s not going to work.
We’re wired to look at results, so if the results keep reinforcing that you’re not getting pregnant, your focus is constantly on that fact.
From what I’ve seen over my years of working one-on-one with clients trying to conceive both naturally and through IVF, you have to believe a little bit more than you doubt.
And I don’t mean a cognitive rational belief–I’m talking about vibration. Because the universe hears what you mean, not what you say.
Even if your mind thinks you have a 50-50 chance, that’s not enough–your belief needs to be stronger than your doubt.
More of you has to be vibrating with the positive expectancy than with the sad disappointment.
Even just a teeny little bit more.
Signing on to work with a coach changes the game because it gives you the opportunity to shift your approach, and that has the potential to shift your expectation to a different outcome.
But even with that shift to a new approach, it’s crucial to make SURE that mindset shift happens.
Because if you think more about the disappointment than you do about the success…if you spend more time feeling the sadness of not having what you want than feeling the joy of having what you want…in a way you’re throwing your money away with expensive fertility treatments or simply wasting precious time trying month after month–because if you’re really honest, your expectation is still one of failure.
It’s extremely hard to change your vibration on your own, because you’re living in the reality of “it’s not working” every day. Your lived experience is one of not having it yet.
And, paradoxically, it’s also impossible to shift into belief if you haven’t first allowed yourself to feel and work through the depth of your grief and sadness around infertility or miscarriage.
This is why, if you’re trying to conceive, working with a coach can be a revolutionary choice.
Stay tuned for details about how you can apply to work with me if you know you’d like more support.